Growing up is hard to do. Now get on with it.

There is not much more that irritates me in life then people who simply refuse to take responsibility for their lives and the situations that they have created for themselves. I see red. I want to scream and grab them by their shoulders and shake them, yelling at them to wake up, grow up and get a spine. I did not create your problems, and I was not the one who made the crappy decisions that got you to where you are now, so why the hell is it that you expect me to be the one to fix your mess. Stop it already! You make the last inkling of respect that I may have left for you bleed out slowly through the seeping pores of my anger.

I must ask myself why I seem to land up with these characters somewhere in my life. The losers, the unaccountable, the shrug-their-shoulders types. I am no longer the rescuer. I get my kicks elsewhere now, thanks very much.

The only other question that I have is why is it so damn hard to say no?
Maybe I need to work on growing my own spine some more.

Missing In Action ...

My personality.
Last seen approximately two weeks ago. If found, please return to grumpy, bitchy owner. No reward offered, but I will be eternally grateful (as will my husband), and more importantly, the world will be saved from having to deal with me in this very blah state.

Every so often, I seem to hit a patch of the Big Funk. Thinking about it, it seems to have happened a lot less frequently over the past few years, but it still has the uncanny knack of surprising me. I wake up one arb morning standing on the platform of Bluesville station and can't quite remember how I got here. This seems to have been the tone of this week.

Nothing extraordinary has happened. In fact, life is good and I am abundantly blessed in so many ways. Hell, I even found bras that fit me, a skirt for summer, and not one but two pairs of casual pants on a recent shopping spree. How cool is that? I just seem to be shrouded with this low grade buzz of enthusiam-lacking anger, and I have this whole princess thing going on where I can't understand why everyone else's life is continuing so damn normally when mine feels like it is falling apart at the seams . I also have family members that suffer from bipolar depression, so I am a bit hyper-sensitive to depressive moods.

I am attributing this irritating stop in FunkTown to any one of the following, or all of the below:

• It has been three weeks today that I kicked my 25/day nicotine habit, and damn I miss it. It's almost starting to get easier, but not quite yet.
• I am eating my way through the no nicotine, which makes me feel even worse. Blech. It's really not like I can afford to pack any more weight on. Love handles? I have the whole kitchen, honey. Oh well. Pass the peanut butter (and toast, and chippies, and roast chicken, and steak, and chocolate, and the rest of that packet of chippies).
• I have period pain
• I am tired. Really tired. Is this year over yet, because I need some leave. Stat.

Go figure. Life is good.